Our crowd are real people, with real stories. These are reflections on authenticity, vulnerability, and strength, the same qualities that drive considered and thoughtful choices, not just taking shortcuts because it may be convenient.
This is a respectful platform. These stories have been voluntarily contributed. Some of them were hard to write. Some are hard to read. Some are anonymous. Some are aspirational, some are reflective. We invite you in.
What Non-Toxic Masculinity Means
At Everett, we believe masculinity is about authenticity, vulnerability, and the courage to be yourself, not conforming to outdated stereotypes.
Why We're Telling These Stories
We've invited men from our community to share their reflections on what it means to embody a healthier, more authentic version of masculinity. These are honest, lived experiences, so we can dispense with the polish.
A Conversation, Not a Lecture
Everett isn't here to define masculinity for you. We invite you to listen along with us, to share, and to celebrate the diversity of what it means to be a good man in today's world.
Community
Their Words
Featured Contributor
Pieter V.
Age 29
"True masculinity, to me, comes from the heart, unlike ego-driven or toxic masculinity.
Healthy masculinity defines a man who is in touch with his emotions, brave enough to be vulnerable, and willing to look inward when upset. He shows up authentically, living from his heart. By doing so, he connects deeply with the world around him while also understanding his true self. He recognises what conversations and actions energise him, and which drain him. When he notices the latter, he has the courage to act or set boundaries, always with love.
It’s not easy, but I believe that together, we can support and inspire one another."
"Non-toxic Masculinity to me is having the confidence/courage to be your true self. It's being able to express yourself while still being conscious of the others around you. Being dependable enough to know that the people you share your life with know that they have you to fall on even though it may not be asked of you. It's knowing that life comes with its ups and downs but having the resilience to keep a positive outlook. "
"What speaks to me about non-toxic masculinity is the focus on treating people with respect, supporting those around you, and being a positive influence in the lives of others. To me, it means building healthy relationships, caring for friends, family, and community, and not putting yourself above other people."
"The way I see it, I think toxic masculinity is a collection of ideas and values which purports to be only measures of what it means to be masculine. I believe projecting your own values onto others is inherently foolish, in general.
More specifically, I think we've seen pretty clearly in recent decades how the suppression of ones true nature, values and passions, in the order to 'be a man', is harmful to the unique expression and impact that this individual would otherwise naturally experience!
On non-toxic masculinity.. I consider myself lucky to live in a time where it's no longer 'normal' to measure my manhood by how many car tyres I change, or barbecues I know how to operate.. and that I am accepted socially for openly being inspired by intellectual and creative pursuits, over more traditional 'masculine interests' that aren't me, like mainstream sports etc."
"After a quick online search, it wasn't hard to find that the google definition of 'masculinity' is "qualities or attributes regarded as characteristic of men." Sure, this makes sense, but to me, perhaps another question that we could answer together is "What does it mean to be a man?"
What about when there are no threats present? What does masculinity mean then? In these situations, my mind is more often than not instantly drawn to the traditional stereotype that men must be quiet, strong, and not talk about their feelings..have you heard this before? The beauty about this is that the following moment, I remind myself of the reality of the world that we live in, or at least the world that I live in - a world where I know (and do) speak to others when I am feeling a little bit off. I see bravery when I hear that a friend (male or female for that matter), speaks up, whether it's just about a shitty week at work, or relationship troubles with family and friends. It's my job, as a friend (and as a man) to be there and listen, and speak only when the timing is right."
"I feel like my definition of masculinity has changed significantly over the years. I am currently in my late 20's and I can say without doubt that I had a very different perspective on masculinity finishing high school. This was a time when I was started using social media frequently and the time I was introduced to the gym. Why did I join the gym? Because I was skin and bones leaving high school and men are meant to be big and muscular right?
So what do I do now? I still go to the gym, however my focus has shifted to health and longevity. I still lift weights, but I also now do yoga, stretching and focus on my breathing because now I'm doing this for me, and I do it because I enjoy doing it. For me it was social media that got me into a mindset of toxic masculinity, and strangely enough it helped me out of it. I feel that the Everett mission is so pure and important and encompasses a topic that is so often easily dismissed."
"A lot of the time, feeling masculine is simply based on perception, in the sense of 'I think others see this action/event as masculine/not very masculine, therefore that's what it is'. There's a lot more to masculinity than having a pumped-up chest and drinking beers. Being mature, making thoughtful and responsible decisions, a lot of the time without anyone else even knowing you're doing the right thing, but doing it for the right reasons and definitely without the ego or self-praise is to me, non-toxic masculinity.
It's about taking the right action and often making the decisions that aren't always going to be popular, but for a bigger purpose, rather than just trying to impress someone by being stereotypical."
"When I was a child, there was always a certain way I thought boys and men were expected to act. I always felt pressured to act in that way to avoid being made fun of, but I never felt like I was very good at it.
I decided to stop eating meat in 2012 for environmental reasons, and became vegan in 2014 for animal rights. This certainly did not fit the way men are supposed to be, especially not in the energy industry. I spent several stints working in rural Australia, where my attitude towards animal products was met with utter confusion. Occasionally I was asked if I had gone vegan for my partner. It irked me that no one asked if she went vegan for me (it was neither).
I recall several occasions at barbecues where male friends would ask me, laughing, if I was still eating 'rabbit food'. It was expected in an unspoken way that I would laugh along, otherwise I'd be 'soft' and 'sensitive'. When I saw a sign in a local supermarket that said 'real men eat meat', I knew our society's attitude towards animal products and masculinity was seriously wrong. We need to change this idea that not eating animal products somehow makes someone less of a man."
"Non-toxic masculinity for me is simply about being yourself and being true to who you are as a person and being proud of who you are. I am a 33 year old separated and divorced Father with 2 beautiful young children. Since I was 16-17 years old I always seemed to struggle with my mental health, particularly around the loss of relationships. In the past I would do the traditional "man" thing and hide my feelings, thoughts and emotions the best I could. I am now very open with my own battles and sharing my story in the hope that it can help others.
After losing my marriage, access to my children, my car, my boat, my home, my job and all my money I nearly lost my life with a very serious suicide attempt. With the help of professionals, friends and family I got through this and came out the other side. The best thing that I have learnt in my journey of life is resilience. Being a Leo (a fire sign) I am a highly emotional person with big feelings and emotions, but I have learnt to harness this energy in a positive way and am proud of who I am and have become, and I learn and grow each and everyday. Although distressing and challenging at the time, these hardships and experiences build character as a person and resilience."
What does non-toxic masculinity mean to you? We're actively collecting reflections from real men in our community — no polish required, just honesty.
Values → Product
We hope you don't think this all sounds a bit trite, or cliché, or 'woke', Many brands want to 'start a conversation' about mental health, body positivity, diversity or pride, or self-expression. At first, we were guided by trying to design and make the most sustainable swimwear in the world, and that goal led us to 'thoughtfulness' both as a design concept and as a representative ideal. In our view, these stories aren't decoration, they are the core of the brand, and have guided every design decision, and every business relationship along the way. We warmly invite you to be part of it. The first batch is open for pre-order now.
